I Am L
by Kill Paris Ion
Summary: Written in the first person, this story puts you in L's shoes as he struggles with the last case he handles before the Kira case. L can't do it himself though, and enlists the help of a cocky female criminal mastermind burglar.
1. Chapter 1 - I Am L

Chapter 1- I am L

"This is…mmf…interesting" I mumbled, mouth full, eyes fixed unblinkingly on the news. The main two reporters were back on the screen to close out the night's news._ I wonder…perhaps my prediction is off?_ "The texture of these is quite odd Watari. Where did you get these?"

"Hmm? Sir, I believe those are complimentary scented tea candles left there by the hotel. I would most certainly advise against eating any more of them."

"I see." Still watching the television, I figured I'd take just one other small bite before putting the candles down. "A scented candle. Yes, that would explain the chalky texture I suppo-"

The news cut out suddenly, leaving a dark grey screen behind. My toes quivered. This was it. I knew this would happen, or rather, I knew that there was an eighty four percent probability of this happening. Text flashed across the screen. Just two words in a large, red, cursive script with plenty of unnecessary flourishes. A custom script, most likely coded by same individual who had just achieved the nearly impossible task of hacking a public television station.

"Hello, L".

A sharp intake of breath from Watari came from the other side of the room. My mind was racing. _Interesting. So you have caught on to the fact that you are being investigated and succeeded in finding my name, and are now attempting to scare me off with this display of power. You are just as intelligent and capable as I had suspected. Good._

The news came back on after a short black screen. The news reporters were panicking and yelling in confusion, and when they finally realized the broadcast was back on, they blushed scarlet and scrambled to regain some semblance of composure. I turned the TV off. There was no need to watch the embarrassing confusion.

I opened my laptop and connected to the free hotel Wi-Fi.

"Sir?"

"Yes, Watari?"

"Did you not say that this suspect you are investigating is a hacker of remarkable talent and that there was a very high chance that every single device we own is already under surveillance?"

"Mmm…well I'm not exactly investigating her, and she isn't quite what I would call a suspect. She's more of an asset to this investigation that we are seeking than a suspect. But yes, Watari. She is, in fact, a hacker of incredible skill amongst other things."

"She, sir?"

"Yes, Watari. She. I had my suspicions, and they have been confirmed by the message she sent me tonight." _Well, seventy-three percent confirmed. Certainly good enough to refer to her in her proper pronoun. Fonts are a frustrating thing to code. It is a remarkably feminine trait to spend such time on the appearance of the message. After all, it was only two words._

My laptop was secured to the extent of my abilities, certainly, but I knew it wouldn't be even close to enough to keep her out of his call. I made the call to the ICPO headquarters where they were currently having a meeting in which they were discussing a small change in the international waters laws. 

"Hello friends. As some of you know, I am L.

There was quite a lot of murmuring amongst the gathered, largely due to new members who had never heard of L before. You would think that they would be notified of me so I wouldn't have to waste time on this but I suppose short of telling them to, the ICPO won't change their habits of poor efficiency any time soon.

"Can whoever is presiding over this meeting please step forward to speak for the ICPO?" I said, and after some commotion a man I guessed to be about thirty-five with sharp features and wavy brown hair to his shoulders that partially covered his left eye stepped forward. "My name is Seth, and I am authorized to at least partially speak for the ICPO".

"Yes, that's nice. Let's get to the matter at hand, shall we? I presume you are all familiar with the streak of seemingly impossible burglaries that have been happening in Korea, China, and especially in Japan?"

Seth responded quickly and with some surprise in his voice. "I...yes, I think it's safe to say everyone here has been made aware of this case, the objects stolen have been of considerable importance to the countries involved. Why do you ask?"

"What can I say, Lyn? I've been bored and I've decided to entertain myself. I would simply like to inform you that I am working the case and share some friendly advice. There is an antique bronze wine vessel originating from the Shang Dynasty located in the Jilin University's archaeological and art museum in the Jilin province of China worth a considerable sum of money, not to mention the importance of the piece on a more sentimental level to the Chinese people. It is on public display from Wednesday to Saturday under very high security. It is my belief that that vessel is the next target for our thief, or at a minimum one of the next targets. With what we know of our suspect, we can safely assume that the crime will be committed on one of the display days. The suspect is quite the attention seeker; I believe they would find the crowd exciting. I would recommend fortifying security. Perhaps you can even catch our thief."

As I spoke, the members of China present at the ICPO meeting nearly fell out of their chairs. It was comical, really. I placed a hand over my microphone. "Watari, would you be so kind as to get me coffee and a plate of cookies? With sprinkles, please. Thank you Watari." Removing my hand, I spoke again. "Are there any questions?" The ICPO members were still. "Well then, have a pleasant evening. I hope I didn't disrupt your discussions too much."

I closed my connection to the ICPO off, satisfied with how that had gone. Watari came into the room with my coffee, sugar cubes, creamer, and a platter of cookies. Watari is a wonderful man, I must say.

"Thank you Watari. Now, would you be so kind as to prepare a thing or two for our trip to China? I do believe our thief has taken the bait."

**Downtown Shanghai**

I couldn't help it. I cracked a grin. This was too easy. Maybe L isn't all he's cracked up to be. _This vessel.…. Why, I think that sounds exquisite, L. And quite convenient as well, seeing as I'm already in China. I really must thank you for your consideration._


	2. Chapter 2 - I Am Belle

Chapter 2 – I am Belle Velius

_I really should get this outfit to the tailor. I do wish I didn't have to have my first public appearance looking like this._ Last heist Ipulled I ended up getting my thigh caught on a sharp protrusion on a window as I made my exit from the Louvre. If his whole situation with L hadn't called for my attention so immediately, I probably would've gotten my suit fixed up first. I suppose I can't complain too much though, this should be fun regardless.

I shifted a little bit in my crouch; my feet were beginning to go numb. The ring of law enforcement around the museum across the street had been there since mid-day yesterday. The poor families trying to enjoy a nice visit to the museum on a Friday afternoon were subject to thorough checks on the way in as well as the way out of the museum. Pointless, really. No self-respecting thief would do something as boring as walking in the front door. It's not like any of the law enforcement officers had an IQ even close to substantial, it would have been child's play getting past them. But where's the fun in that? My method was much better. _Speaking of which, I think it's time for me to start. Let's get this show on the road._

I felt the familiar tingle of excitement in the pit of my stomach that accompanies pulling off a job. I took the large bag off of my back and opened it, removing a flat, retractable 3 inch wide rod with thick two inch long spikes on the bottom of either end made of an extremely strong type of carbon steel used in aircraft landing gears that was capable of supporting extremely high weight as well as a blowtorch with condensed oxygen enriched propane. Extending the rod to its full length of thirty feet, I used the blowtorch on the steel spike on one end. Once it reached the hottest the torch could make it at over one thousand five hundred degrees Celsius, I quickly moved the rod over the open space between the building I was on and the museum across the way. The spike quickly melted into the ceramic roof with a melting point of only six hundred fifty degrees Celsius. I began torching the spike on the end of the rod I still had, and once hot, melted it into the roof I was on. I waited a little to make sure the spikes and roof had cooled, and put my blowtorch away and my bag back on my back, then quickly made my way across the makeshift bridge. The matte black of my clothes and mask and the unreflective black of the rod worked as cover enough from the law enforcement at the height I was at, and I made it across without incident.

_Ughh… I hate this part_. _It's always so dusty in there._ Leaving the rod where it was, I opened the ventilation vent on the roof of the museum, climbed in, and started crawling. _Alright now it was…. Left turn left turn right, exit the second one after the bend._ Reading blueprints wasn't exactly my forte, but I after hacking the contractor who had originally constructed the museum, it was a simple matter to find the blueprints and figure out the fastest way to the Vessel's display. _Aaand here we are. The Vessel's display room._ The room was very large, a good thirty feet tall, and filled with four armed officers, two by the door and two on either side of the display, and a decent amount of guests oogling the display.

After brushing myself off I attached a strong cord to the inside of the ventilation system with a powerful adhesive and waited for it to dry while unscrewing the vent cover. _Now for the fun part. _Removing the vent cover I placed it behind me in the ventilation shaft, and pulled out my tranquilizer gun from its resting place on my thigh. _The officers aren't even wearing bulletproof vests. It's like they're handing the Vessel to me._ I shot the two officers by the door, and by the time the other two officers had noticed someone had just shot their companions, they had a hypodermic needle in their necks. A few seconds later, I was lowering myself into a room filled with four snoring officers and some very startled guests. A lot of the guests were staring at the officers I had downed by the door in confusion, so I wasn't too quiet about smashing the glass display with the Vessel. _Oh I have everyone's attention. Good._

Picking up the Vessel I look up at my audience and lifted the Vessel up.

"Cheers, loves!"

With the aid of the cord, I half climbed and half ran up the wall back to the opened vent. _The people should be getting over their shock any time now. I should hurry._ I cut the cord I was attached to, dropped the Vessel into my bag, and started making my way out. As I climbed back the way I had come, I couldn't help but give myself a mental pat on the back. _Cheers. Brilliant, Belle, truly Brilliant. Your first public appearance and you pulled it off flawlessly._ Back on the roof, I made my way across the bar, not bothering to remove it as I knew I didn't have the time to. From the building I was on I climbed down the side farthest from the museum and dropped to the street below where my motorcycle was waiting. I started the motorcycle up, took my mask off, and mussed my short red hair.

_Feels nice to have that mask off. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Lauding myself for that perfectly performed burglary and going to find a tailor to fix my outfit. There's no way I'm going to have two appearances in a row with a tear in my suit. _


End file.
